I was put in touch with Home-Start again after the birth of my second child, Jane, 6 years later.  This time our volunteer was not a retired woman but a young mum herself, Nicola. She was practical as well as emotionally supportive and I was very sad when her husband’s job dictated they moved away shortly before I gave birth to my third child.  Pauline then became my volunteer.

When Liam arrived life was very hard for us.  A traumatic birth ending in a c-section and severe postnatal depression coupled with Liam being a difficult baby meant for trying times.  He was discovered to have a genetic fault that left him with developmental delay (he didn’t walk until 2 years old), hypertonia (weak muscle tone) and a myriad of other minor issues added to the stress in my household.  He cried a lot and Pauline became a lifeline.  Sometimes her arrival gave me a sense of peace as I knew that whilst she was in my home I was not alone against the world.  She has a deliciously calming quality that manages to always leave me feeling kind of relieved and although I never told her she often gave me the emotional strength to battle on ’til the following week.

In the months that followed my family saw intervention from the Family Support Team of the Children and Young People’s Service and the community mental health services.  Home-Start was verging towards a necessity in my existence.  Its unique quality of care kind of nurtures you as a person, mum and as a family unit, never judgemental and always consistently following your wishes is a stark contrast to the authorities.

My eldest daughter found it all too much and went to live with her dad in February 2007.  I was devastated.  Predictably, it was Home-Start who helped me pick myself up and dusted me down.  I knew they were truly there for my family without prejudice of our situation.  It was a shock to discover shortly after that I was pregnant with my fourth child.

Home-Start has been a major part of my family for a long time.  Jane starts ‘Big School’ (September 2008) soon.  At that point we will be saying our goodbyes.  Over the years it has provided me with so many things - from basics such as practical support helping with my children after 2 c-sections, helping with my rabble as we attended Liam’s physio appointments and making it possible for me to get my teeth seen to.  Home-Start has been a powerful advocate at Family Support Planning Meetings.  Knowing us so intimately helped ensure that the extra help we really needed was forthcoming and they weren’t visiting and providing just a ’sticking plaster’ solution.  Most of all, it has been a very special emotional support that has given me strength, courage, confidence with my children and parenting skills (and the occasional kick up the pants when I’ve asked for it).

NEVER underestimate what Home-Start Northampton offers.  All of the above plus wonderful Christmas parties, picnics and trips that allow the children extra happy childhood memories they richly deserve.

Finally, before I leave you to ponder more pressing matters, I’d just like to say that Home-Start Northampton hasn’t seen the last of me.  When my youngest child starts school (she is nearly one as I write this) it is my intention to train as a volunteer.  I hope with all my heart that funding to this scheme continues so they can carry on supporting families like mine and I can fulfil my volunteering wish.

If I can give Home-Start even a fraction of what it has given me it will be a fitting tribute to all they stand for.  I truly understand the value of a volunteer and they are worth far more than anything you could possibly imagine. I cannot express my gratitude to them in words as ‘Thank You’ seems ridiculously inadequate.

Home-Start is so much more than a cosy cup of tea and a chat - my family are living proof of that.

I had no prior knowledge of Home-Start and even after the initial visit from the co-ordinator was still a little uncertain of what to expect.  Meeting my volunteer for the first time was a strange experience.  What will this person be like?  Will they like me?  Will I like them?  Will they judge me?  It can be a daunting experience.  I need not have worried however, Liz, my volunteer, turned out to be a lovely person.

She visited once a week for a couple of hours and some days we would chat, maybe go shopping, have coffee, sometimes she would spend time with the children.  I know they loved it when she took them to the local park.  It would depend how I was feeling on the day she visited and whether the older children were on school holidays.  When I was referred to Home-Start, I had no confidence in my ability as a mother or as a person in my own right.  It took some pointing out that I was a good mother and that I was doing well, gradually I got the message.

Due to improvements in my mental health, statutory services withdrew, leaving Home-Start as my only support.  I joined a weekly group run by Home-Start, which encouraged me to socialise with other mothers whilst my youngest child played in the crèche.  With my new-found confidence, I signed up to assertiveness courses run by Nutrac.  All the time I had the continuing warmth and support from my volunteer.  Gradually I began to rebuild my life.  Things did not always go smoothly, I would still find days when it all seemed too much but I got through them.  Home-Start Northampton was a part of my life for three years and I was lucky enough to have the same volunteer in all that time.

My experience with Home-Start is an incredibly positive one.  Without the consistent warmth and support from my volunteer, it would have been harder for me to move on with my life.  Statutory support has its place however; it still maintains a sense of stigma and an idea of dependency.  Home-Start provides support whilst enabling the individual and the family, there is a profound difference between these two approaches.  Eleven years on and my children have grown up fast, I am now working, studying with the Open University and I am a Home-Start volunteer.  I am a person that I could not have envisages when I was referred to Home-Start all those years ago.

My name is Kaisa and I’m from Scandinavia.  I’m married to an Afro-Caribbean and we have two beautiful children, Omar 2 and Alicia 1.

When I first got involved with Home-Start I was a fresh mother of two and in a bit of a desperate situation.  My partner being away at work most of the time and me trying to juggle between a new baby and a very demanding toddler and housework.  I’m sure most of you reading this will, at this point think, “Say no more”.  Yes, that alone is enough to deal with but dealing with it completely alone is an extra “stone in the bag”.  As we are two foreigners in another foreign country life can really be very lonely.

When I first met Bernie - ain’t she a doll?! - we talked about a possible volunteer.  I was put on the waiting list.

Then Bernie came to me with the news that she had found me a volunteer.  Somebody whose solution to most things was to “Go for a walk in the park”.  My kind of lady.

A week or so later I met Eva and liked her immediately.  Most importantly, Omar and Alicia took to her with no hesitation.  And now, as time has gone by and we’ve gotten to know each other better I couldn’t be happier with how we all get on and what a great difference Eva has brought to our lives.  It’s like she’s heaven sent.  I really mean it.

As we live in a first floor flat, getting out and about with 2 children and a double pushchair is an athletic trial in itself.  With the help of somebody it is obviously much easier.  Also, as Eva drives and Home-Start has kindly borrowed her two care seats, we can actually go places.  I love these new little privileges such as going to a different park for a change.  As simple as it sounds but to us it’s something really big.

We’ve also taken a trip t a small animal farm a bit further out of town and, hey! Had a swift ride to town to pay the bills when it was pouring with rain.

Omar and Alicia absolutely adore Eva.  As they hear her voice from the corridor they start a wild race towards the door to greet her.  Omar will snatch her handbag, knowing there’s always something nice in there; jigsaw puzzles, little cars, a toy’ phone and a few other bits.  Alicia will head straight for a big cuddle.  Ain’t nowhere nicer that in Eva’s arms.  I love watching them together, I love the way my children have someone important in their lives, someone who visits regularly, especially as their grandparents are all so far away.

And to me, having Eva around means having conversations, having someone to trust and someone who will give me the opportunity to go and scrub that kitchen clean without two little monkeys climbing up my legs.  She gives me company, a shoulder to lean on when the going gets rough and a feeling of freedom when we take the children out together, no matter where we go or what we do.  To me she is an angel; she always goes that extra step further to prove that.

To me, Home-Start has really made a big difference in my life.  Even though Eva only comes once a week it is such a help and relief from the loneliness that sometimes surrounds me.

In all, Home-start is a life line in so may ways.  I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for us.  You’re the best!

Ps Could I please keep Eva forever????

It really doesn’t matter what anyone tells you, what advice or warnings you receive, when a baby enters your life, your whole world changes…but when it’s twins, God help you!!

My life became one long round of changing nappies, feeding, sterilizing bottles and sleepless nights.  My husband was a great support when he was her but he left the house for work each morning before 6am and we didn’t see him for another 12 hours.

Both of my parents had died - I had lost my mother only 18 months earlier, and I was still grieving for her.  My sisters wee a great support to me but they either had families of their own to look after or worked full time and did not live locally.  They were always phoning me to check we were all ok but I struggled to even find the time to take the phone off the answering machine so they spoke more to that than to me.

I dreaded going to bed at night because it meant I would have to start all over again the next day.  I began to hate getting out of bed in the morning.  I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me - I had these two beautiful babies yet I was miserable and always crying.  I had never felt so alone.

When the twins were 6 months old I was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression and antidepressants were prescribed.  I was feeling very low and by chance received a phone call from Home-Start offering me a volunteer.  That call could not have come at a better time.

Initially I though 2 hours a week was not going to be of any use to me but when I met Sue she was like a breath of fresh air.  She came each week on a pre-arranged day and would basically do anything I wanted or needed.  Sometimes she would play with the babies and I could do silly things like clean the bathroom or tidy the bedrooms.  Other times we would go running around in the car doing errands.  This may sound like run of the mill stuff but accomplishing these simple things can just make you feel so much better in yourself.

Sue was a very positive and encouraging person.  She was always telling me what a wonderful mother I was, how well I coped and how good I was with the children.  She helped me to believe I was actually doing a ‘good job’.

Home-Start was that helping hand I needed for 6 months just to get me on the road to recover.  I can’t thank them or Sue enough for all their help, and you know something, I now know Sue was right… I really am a wonderful mother!!!!